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March 17, 2012
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I blinked and woke up on a strange sandy island,
it was all moonlight,
bathed in the ether of that white light,
I didn't bother to question, I felt.

I sat there for a while, hurling heaps of sand into the breathing ocean,
it said "Hello,"I felt "Could you please stop throwing sand?"

not that it mattered anyway, it was filled with sand.
I was filled with sand, I felt it escaping through a coupl'a holes left in my chest from some other dream,

but I stopped throwing sand, I just looked, and god, I felt.
I felt waves of moonlight pierce me, straight through, I felt white, and I felt the dark waves of that ocean

and I felt him speak,

it told me of lost eons, of past civilizations, it told me I was the last man still alive, so it seems,
the sea told me at least he hasn't seen anybody,

"Can you swim?"

I said no, and he shrugged at me a foamy way.

He said Oh,

so I walked around, the sand slid between my feet, like the sand between my vertebrae,
inside, was an hourglass, and the buckshot from that other dream shattered the glass, sifting,
between my lungs, down through all my organs, I felt hollow, just then, but not now,

every cigarette I smoked would shake the glass faster, not that it matted anyway, it was already filled with sand.

-

on the other side of the island I found a boat washed ashore, so I threw it off into the breathing ocean,
it said "Hello," I felt "Could you stop throwing boats?"

not that it matted, the sea wasn't filled with any boats, it could use at least one...
preview of a longer series I was thinking about doing, what do you think? It's an allegory that would be developed and explained more later,

should I do it?
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:iconfinumbra:
finumbra Mar 18, 2012
Excellent! Narrative poems are the absolute best, and this especially is wonderful!
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:iconthecharacter-k:
TheCharacter-K Mar 22, 2012  Student Writer
Just you wait.
Reply
:iconfinumbra:
finumbra Mar 22, 2012
Whether that's a promise or a threat, I'm quite excited to see what you write!
Reply
:iconthecharacter-k:
TheCharacter-K Mar 24, 2012  Student Writer
It's both
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:iconindiana-w:
indiana-w Mar 18, 2012  Student Writer
I am very excited about this series.
Reply
:iconthecharacter-k:
TheCharacter-K Mar 22, 2012  Student Writer
Not really a series but a long narrative poem. Don't think I've forgotten it now, just been pretty busy lately. Still in the works.
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:iconthemartyred:
TheMartyred Mar 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
WOW...JUST WOW...this is really deppressing. and I always love when the end repeats but changes slightly. beautiful!
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:iconthecharacter-k:
TheCharacter-K Mar 17, 2012  Student Writer
it's not over, this is a preview of a bigger piece that might be to come. It is kind of depressing, but can also be seen as pretty optimistc.
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:iconthemartyred:
TheMartyred Mar 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
is this going to be like a short story or is it all just like this.
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:iconthecharacter-k:
TheCharacter-K Mar 17, 2012  Student Writer
a narrative poem, like this.
Reply
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